A Sad and Odd Day

The other evening early last week, we got a call from a friend that the father of one of another friend had died. He was 81, had been having some health issues. At the end, a kidney transplant didn't take and he didn't make it.

Visitors were welcome to see the family at a funeral home in Ellicott City later in the week. When the time came to go, I wasn't sure what the name of the funeral home was, so I looked on the Google machine for all funeral homes in Ellicott City and found one that sounded like the one I had been told. It was Witzke's, which was close to the name I had hastily scribbled down.

Not being familiar with Ellicott City, I decided to go to the Witzke Web site to get directions.  There, in the right hand column, was the name of our friend's father, Hoffman, William H. And right below him, was another name, Krainak, Danielle M.

I went to high school with a Danielle Krainak. There couldn't be two people with that name. When I clicked on the listing on the funeral home's web site, the birth date was certainly in the range. I called the funeral home to inquire about where she went to high school, and was told they didn't have that information. As it turns out, the viewings for William Hoffman, father of our friend Kay Gold, and for Danielle Krainak, were at the same time. Before going up, I posted something on Facebook on our Wheaton High School class page.

When we got to the funeral home, my wife Liz went straight and to the left, to Kay's father's viewing. I turned right to the Krainak gathering. I had hoped to see someone familiar, perhaps someone from Wheaton. No such luck. As I stood looking around, a staff member from the funeral home came up to me and asked, politely, if I was in the correct room. I told her my story of knowing the Golds and of knowing Danielle. She was somewhat taken aback. It doesn't happen every day. I asked to speak with a family member and was directed to Danielle's sister, Maryann.

She was talking with two neighbors. I introduced myself and told her how I came to be there. We had a very nice conversation. In inquired, as politely as I could, what Danielle had been doing the last 40 years (she was a physical therapist) and how she died (kidney cancer). Her neighbors said Danielle had helped them even though they weren't official patients. After a few minutes, I excused myself, signed the guest book (WHS 70) and left, but not before taking a peek at the coffin.

Just for the record, I am not a fan of open coffins. It's one of the things I like about Jewish funerals -- we don't have them. But I looked for a second at Danielle, and realized this was the first time I had attended the death of a classmate. A few of the people in my high school class have died already, but I wasn't nearby. This was different.

Then I walked out and across the hall, where Kay's brother was speaking of their father's life and accomplishments. I was startled by another open casket, forgetting Kay's father wasn't Jewish. He was, Kay's brother said, agnostic on religion. I told some people why I was late coming in. They couldn't believe it either.